"I am looking for a 'dare to be great' situation

Today I took a step... the first step.

there are more than 12 in this program.

I talk of Adobe After Effects.
I really only started "officially" editing video about 6 months ago.
Final Cut was easy, in theory. I had general knowledge, and previous "experience" (read:fucking around for years with Windows Movie Maker/ iMovie) And though Final Cut is a way more in depth program than those, once i have the building blocks, it seems as though I can fake it til I make it, which is exactly what I did.

And then I got ambitious.

And then I got After Effects. And not the "after effects" that you get from a night of drinking, or sleeping with your cousin.
This program holds so much in it's confines, its almost threatening to my life. The potential is scary and exciting at the same time.



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This is what I'm looking at & dealing with. Seeing a gigantic mound of ice, sitting above water. Not knowing what to do with it... and knowing still there is more waiting for me that I haven't even seen yet.


Yet it's something that I can't wait to learn. Literally, I can't wait. I'm extremely impatient. Not only will this program test my patience, but my skill, creativity, drive, passion... yikes.

I made a flower move today. This was a big step. Up until now, I would open the program, and begin to cry...not quite literally, but just thinking of all the power that is right there at my fingertips, and not having the SLIGHTEST idea of what to do next, is well, intimidating to say the least.




















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Knowing just how much I COULD accomplish and create with this program has actually been stifling me. I don't wanna start something I can't finish. So up until today, I put it off.


Yet here I am. I have begun to chip away at the fear of failure and disappointment. I have begun to convince myself of my own potential. This is something I want to get good at...and I can't let my own impatience get in my way this time.


Testing my potential seems to be a theme lately, in many areas of my life; And I am welcoming it. Quite stubbornly, but I believe in baby steps until it's time to leap.

For now, it's all about what I can do soon, and not what I can't do yet.

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