Let's recap a bit...
I spent New Years alone, just how I had hoped I would.
I got my own apartment.
My amazing sister came to visit & help me move into said apartment.
My fantastic brother came to visit and help me fix up/decorate & break in my new apartment.
I learned much...
I spent New Years alone, just how I had hoped I would.
I got my own apartment.
My amazing sister came to visit & help me move into said apartment.
My fantastic brother came to visit and help me fix up/decorate & break in my new apartment.
I learned much...
...about myself, my family, and just life in general.
Having my sister & dearest friend with me as I started this "new chapter" in my life is more than I could have ever asked for. And it's not just because I had someone to help me haul my 500lbs of vinyl, 200lbs of CD's, & 200lbs of clothes up a flight of stairs. But because she get's me. She knows I set a goal for myself. She knows how much it meant for me to reach it. She is insanely proud and happy for me. Because she would sleep on the floor with me in my new place since I didn't have a bed yet. She is the one person who I can trust to go out the day after I move in and get stuff I need/want for my place while I work. Because she knows I need tissues, and Lipton noodle soup, a bottle opener, toilet paper (even if it wasn't the kind my butt likes), ranch dressing, Oreo thin crisps, & pork chops and potatoes for dinner. She is the one person I can trust to alphabetize my CD collection and THEN put them in chronological order. I literally can't imagine moving into this apartment without her, and I'm glad I don't have to.
Having my sister & dearest friend with me as I started this "new chapter" in my life is more than I could have ever asked for. And it's not just because I had someone to help me haul my 500lbs of vinyl, 200lbs of CD's, & 200lbs of clothes up a flight of stairs. But because she get's me. She knows I set a goal for myself. She knows how much it meant for me to reach it. She is insanely proud and happy for me. Because she would sleep on the floor with me in my new place since I didn't have a bed yet. She is the one person who I can trust to go out the day after I move in and get stuff I need/want for my place while I work. Because she knows I need tissues, and Lipton noodle soup, a bottle opener, toilet paper (even if it wasn't the kind my butt likes), ranch dressing, Oreo thin crisps, & pork chops and potatoes for dinner. She is the one person I can trust to alphabetize my CD collection and THEN put them in chronological order. I literally can't imagine moving into this apartment without her, and I'm glad I don't have to.
And not but 12 hours after dropping my sister off at the airport, I got to pick up my brother for his 2 week stay. It was this visit that gave me my goal in the first place. I told myself I would be in my own place before Adam came to visit. His trip had been planned since I left for San Diego in September. He turned 18 & graduated High school within 4 days of one another. This trip was his.
Every time I hang out with my brother I am more and more impressed with how much he has grown up. This time was no different. I am almost at a loss for words. Spending 2 weeks with my brother was probably the best way to break in this new place. Both of us at a certain 'turning point' in our lives, and being able to share it, and just enjoy each others company was outstanding. He needed it. I needed it. I took him on his first college visit, and now there is a chance he will be coming to San Diego for school. We went to the zoo, saw a PGA tournament, watched TONS of stupid movies, created art together, and he helped me put together more pieces of my apartment. He endured shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond, Wal-Mart, & countless thrift stores just for me. And literally every day made me realize more and more of what a wonderful brother, human being, man, son & friend he has grown into. And as I hugged him goodbye at the airport yesterday morning, I cried uncontrollably. Every bone in my body just wanted him to stay and hang out more. I cried the whole way home from the airport. Not just because I was going to miss him- but because I am SO proud of him. Everything he stands for, and how much of an adult he is. He may just now be an adult by society's standards, but he has been an adult for many years before he turned 18.
Then something clicked- which in turn, made me cry more. Because there I was, feeling so sad that my brother had to leave me after we had such a great time together, and I remember how just one month earlier a family very close to mine suffered terrible tragedy. How a brother was lost... and then I remember how a sister was lost many years ago. And I feel selfish.
I have 2 of the best siblings a girl could ask for. (and i didn't ask for either of them. ha) But they are mine. And to think about losing either is just...well, i can't do that.
And all I can do at this point is to be grateful. Grateful that the tears I shed when I drop my siblings off at the airport are for just that.
It's a lesson you constantly have to re-learn. Gratefulness for life, and love & the time you have. And sometimes it takes terrible things happening to make you remember.
So after all of that I sit here. Alone. Just as I wanted. Missing my siblings. Missing my family. Thinking about all of those people out there who have no choice but to miss their loved ones, and feeling Grateful that I can miss my family.
Every time I hang out with my brother I am more and more impressed with how much he has grown up. This time was no different. I am almost at a loss for words. Spending 2 weeks with my brother was probably the best way to break in this new place. Both of us at a certain 'turning point' in our lives, and being able to share it, and just enjoy each others company was outstanding. He needed it. I needed it. I took him on his first college visit, and now there is a chance he will be coming to San Diego for school. We went to the zoo, saw a PGA tournament, watched TONS of stupid movies, created art together, and he helped me put together more pieces of my apartment. He endured shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond, Wal-Mart, & countless thrift stores just for me. And literally every day made me realize more and more of what a wonderful brother, human being, man, son & friend he has grown into. And as I hugged him goodbye at the airport yesterday morning, I cried uncontrollably. Every bone in my body just wanted him to stay and hang out more. I cried the whole way home from the airport. Not just because I was going to miss him- but because I am SO proud of him. Everything he stands for, and how much of an adult he is. He may just now be an adult by society's standards, but he has been an adult for many years before he turned 18.
Then something clicked- which in turn, made me cry more. Because there I was, feeling so sad that my brother had to leave me after we had such a great time together, and I remember how just one month earlier a family very close to mine suffered terrible tragedy. How a brother was lost... and then I remember how a sister was lost many years ago. And I feel selfish.
I have 2 of the best siblings a girl could ask for. (and i didn't ask for either of them. ha) But they are mine. And to think about losing either is just...well, i can't do that.
And all I can do at this point is to be grateful. Grateful that the tears I shed when I drop my siblings off at the airport are for just that.
It's a lesson you constantly have to re-learn. Gratefulness for life, and love & the time you have. And sometimes it takes terrible things happening to make you remember.
So after all of that I sit here. Alone. Just as I wanted. Missing my siblings. Missing my family. Thinking about all of those people out there who have no choice but to miss their loved ones, and feeling Grateful that I can miss my family.
